How to Plan Your Own Funeral

1. Choosing the type of service

The first step in planning your funeral is deciding what type of service you would like. There are several options to consider:

Traditional funeral service: A traditional service typically includes a viewing, a formal ceremony, and a graveside service for those who choose burial. If cremation is preferred, the ceremony can still occur with the body present, followed by cremation instead of burial. The ashes can then be interred, kept, or scattered according to your wishes. This option allows for incorporating religious or cultural customs while providing flexibility in honouring your life.

Celebration of life: A celebration of life focuses on the positive aspects of the deceased’s life, often taking on a more informal and personalised tone. This can include stories, music, and activities that reflect your personality and interests.

Direct burial or cremation: For those who prefer a simpler option, a direct burial or cremation involves no formal service. The body is buried or cremated shortly after death, with a memorial service held at a later date, if desired.

2. Selecting a venue

Choosing the right venue is crucial in setting the tone for your funeral service. For traditional services, venues like places of worship or crematoriums offer a familiar and structured environment. If you're opting for a more personal or informal service, consider venues that hold special meaning to you, such as a community hall, social club, favorite pub, or restaurant. Outdoor locations like parks or beaches also provide serene settings, especially if you had a love for nature. The venue should reflect your personality and accommodate the type of service you envision, ensuring a fitting tribute to your life.

3. Organising the details

Once the major decisions are made, you’ll need to focus on the details that will make the service uniquely yours:

Music: Choose songs that have special meaning to you or your loved ones. This can include hymns, classical pieces, or modern songs that reflect your personality.

Readings: Select poems, scripture, or personal writings that resonate with your values and beliefs. Consider asking close family members or friends to deliver these readings.

Eulogy: Decide who you would like to give the eulogy. You may also want to write down key points or even pre-write your eulogy to ensure that your story is told the way you want it to be remembered.

Flowers and decorations: Choose flowers or decorations that reflect your tastes. You might prefer traditional arrangements or opt for something more personal, such as wildflowers, candles, or photographs.

Funeral program: If you would like a program for the service, outline the order of events, include a photo, and provide any relevant details about donations, if applicable.

Prepaying funeral arrangements

Deciding to prepay for your funeral is a significant part of planning your final arrangements. Prepaying not only alleviates the financial burden on your family but also ensures your wishes are respected. With prepaid funeral plans, you can pay in advance, either in a lump sum or through instalments, covering various expenses like the funeral director’s fees, coffin, burial or cremation costs, and even the wake.

The main advantage of a prepaid plan is that it locks in today’s prices, shielding you from inflation and sparing your loved ones from making difficult financial decisions during a stressful time. However, it's crucial to choose a reputable provider to avoid risks such as mismanagement. Always read the contract thoroughly to understand what's included.

At Hadaway & Denton, we partner with Open Prepaid Funerals to offer secure and transparent plans. Your funds are safely managed by professionals, ensuring peace of mind for you and your family. Prepaid plans also allow you to personalise every detail of your funeral, from the service type to the finer touches, guaranteeing your preferences are honoured.

Emotional support in funeral planning

Planning your own funeral can be an emotionally challenging experience, it’s important to seek support as you navigate this process.

Talking to loved ones: Openly discussing your funeral plans with family members can help ease their burden when the time comes. It also ensures that they understand and respect your wishes. Consider holding a family meeting to discuss your decisions and explain the reasoning behind them. This can also be an opportunity for your loved ones to share their thoughts and feelings, helping to foster understanding and acceptance.

Seeking professional support: If you find the process overwhelming, it may be beneficial to speak with a therapist or counsellor. They can help you process your emotions, address any fears or anxieties, and offer guidance on how to communicate your wishes to your family.

Support groups: There are also support groups for people who are planning their own funerals, dealing with terminal illness, or coping with the idea of mortality. These groups can provide a sense of community and understanding, allowing you to share your experiences and gain insights from others in similar situations.

How funeral directors can help

Funeral directors play a crucial role in planning and executing your funeral arrangements, offering expertise and support throughout the process to ensure your wishes are respected with dignity and care. Their guidance and expertise are invaluable, as they have extensive knowledge of the various options available for funeral services, including different types of ceremonies, burial and cremation choices, and legal requirements. They can assist you in making informed decisions that align with your preferences and budget.

Coordination and logistics are another essential aspect of their service. Funeral directors manage the transportation of the body, arrange the venue, and liaise with clergy, musicians, florists, and other service providers, ensuring that everything runs smoothly on the day of the funeral. Beyond the logistical and administrative support, funeral directors also provide crucial emotional support to grieving families. They offer comforting guidance and reassurance, helping your loved ones navigate the difficult process of saying goodbye.

Other considerations

In addition to the practical and emotional aspects of planning your funeral, there are a few final considerations to keep in mind:

Documenting your wishes: Make sure that your funeral plans are documented and easily accessible. This could be in the form of a written plan stored with your important papers or an online document that your family can access. You might also want to include your funeral preferences in your will, though it’s important to note that the will may not be read until after the funeral, so ensure your family knows where to find the relevant information.

Reviewing and updating your plans: Life circumstances and preferences can change, so it’s a good idea to review your funeral plans periodically. Update them as needed to reflect any new decisions, and communicate these changes to your loved ones.

Final thoughts

Planning your own funeral is an act of love and foresight, ensuring that your final wishes are carried out with care while easing the emotional and financial burden on your family. At Hadaway & Denton, we are more than just funeral directors—we are a part of the Kent community, committed to serving our neighbours with sincerity and compassion during some of life's most difficult moments.

As an independent funeral directors, we take the time to understand your unique needs and preferences, offering a truly personal touch that larger companies often lack. We believe that every life is unique, and every farewell should be too. Our dedicated team is here to guide you through each step of the process, offering the support and expertise you need to create a meaningful and respectful service that reflects your life and values.

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