When considering music for a funeral, it is important to think about two main factors:
1 - The significance the music holds to the deceased and their loved ones
2 - The emotion you wish to convey
Additionally, to the above, families often wish to include a traditional element such as a well-known hymn.
Funerals are changing at quite a pace now – perhaps due to the shift in thinking during the Covid pandemic or perhaps due to the increase in awareness of options and the online search tools. I also consider that self-expression is more prevalent in today’s society and individuals have more opportunities than ever before to express themselves and share their thoughts, feelings and experiences with others. This increase has surely led to greater emphasis on the individual and therefore loved ones are looking for more authentic ways to express this individuality. Perhaps it is a combination of many things, albeit we have noticed that the clients we serve request anything from the simplest of farewells, such as a direct unattended cremation to a large-scale memorial event, often in two parts and not necessarily at a crematorium or a church but at a local social and/or sports club or what’s better known as wedding venues.
The above flexibility means there are many more options for musical moments within a funeral or memorial service.
A more traditional structure, at a crematorium for example, is as follows:
1 - An entrance piece of music
2 - A reflection piece of music
3 - An exit piece of music
Sometimes families add a hymn after the entrance music too. This hymn can be accompanied by organ or piano only or you can choose to add a choral version whereby you will have support from a whole choir (a good option if you don’t have many confident singers in the family!).
A more contemporary idea is to have a slideshow of photos on a screen whilst the reflection music plays, which works well at a crematorium or hired venue where they usually have screens and/or projectors available.
At a recent memorial service, we had many many pieces of music throughout the service, listening to extracts of songs as well as whole songs when discussing the importance of music in the deceased person’s life. It was a beautiful service filled with emotion and popular music from Mariah Carey to Green Day to Elvis Presley. The structure of the service was mainly built around the songs rather than the readings; it was authentic and worked really well. In between the extracts or songs were tributes from friends or family or a poem, as well as the main eulogy.
Considering an entrance piece, try and think about your loved one and their personality; it is after all their entrance piece; a welcome to everyone to come and commemorate their life. This music can be ANYTHING. Often families think that they have to conform to a tradition or a norm but you don’t at all.
Here is a variety of examples for entrance music (although many can be used at any point during a service, dependent on your wishes):
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You Raise Me Up – Josh Groban
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Angels - Robbie Williams
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Unchained Melody – The Righteous Brothers
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In the Arms of an Angel – Sarah McLachlan
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What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong
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Here Comes the Sun – The Beatles
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I’ll Be Missing You – Puff Daddy and Faith Evans
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You’ll Never Walk Alone – Gerry and the Pacemakers
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The Sound of Silence – Simon & Garfunkel
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Bridge Over Troubled Water – The Carpenters or Aretha Franklin (as a contrast)
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Over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole or Eva Cassidy or Judy Garland
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Love Me Tender – Elvis Presley
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Memory – Barbra Streisand
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Stand By Me – Ben E King
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The Dance – Garth Brooks
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Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve
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The Long and Winding Road – The Beatles
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There You’ll Be – Faith Hill
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Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door – Bob Dylan
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You Are The Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler
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Fields of Gold – Sting
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Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) – Billy Joel
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Last of the Summer Wine Theme Tune – Ronnie Hazlehurst
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Canon in D - Pachelbel
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Enigma Variations – Elgar
More traditional hymn choices are:
- Nearer My God to Thee
- How Great Thou Art
- Old Rugged Cross
- When the Saints Go Marching In
- On Eagle’s Wings
- The Lord is My Shepherd
- Jerusalem
- Amazing Grace
- Abide with Me
- All Things Bright and Beautiful
- Lord of All Hopefulness
- Morning Has Broken
- Here I Am Lord
At a time of reflection, it is often thought that it would be an ideal time to play a more emotional song; something that evokes the feelings of loss and allows this time of expression, however it can also be a time to play something of character should you wish to evoke laughter or display photos of good times on a screen; it is all personal choice. Below are a few suggestions for the time of reflection song:
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Amazing Grace (Chains are Gone) – Pentatonix
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Unforgettable – Nat King Cole
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Lay Me Down – Sam Smith
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See You Again – Wiz Khalifa, Charlie Puth
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Supermarket Flowers – Ed Sheeran
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Dancing in the Sky – Beverly Ann
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Fields of Gold – Eva Cassidy
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Time to Say Goodbye – Andrea Bocelli
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The Prayer – Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli
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I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston
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Tears in Heaven – Eric Clapton
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Candle in the Wind – Elton John
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My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion
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Flying Without Wings – Westlife
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Awake My Soul – Mumford and Sons
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Fix You – Coldplay
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Always on my Mind – Elvis
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Asleep – The Smiths
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Blower’s Daughter – Damien Rice
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Songbird – Fleetwood Mac
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Pie Jesu – Faure
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Air on a G String – J S Bach
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Ave Maria – Schubert
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The Lark Ascending – Vaughan Williams
At the end of the service, you may wish to consider a song that can uplift and comfort mourners or one that incorporates your loved ones’ humour. Below are few suggestions:
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Always Look On the Bright Side of Life – Eric Idle
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My Way – Frank Sinatra
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November Rain – Guns N’ Roses
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Stairway to Heaven – Led Zepplin
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Take Me Home – John Denver
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See You Again – Carrie Underwood
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I’ll Be Seeing You – Billie Holiday
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Spirit in the Sky – Norman Greenbaum
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I’ve Had the Time of My Life – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
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Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash
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Highway to Hell – ACDC
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Halo – Beyonce
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In My Life – The Beatles
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Bless The Broken Road – Rascal Flatts
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The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston
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The Best – Tina Turner
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We’ll Meet Again – Vera Lynn
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Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin
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Bring Me Sunshine – Morecambe and Wise
Final thoughts
Hopefully the above examples empower you to make your own personal choices when you are planning, either your own funeral, or the funeral of your loved ones. Music can play such an important role in evoking emotions; whether it is to comfort or to uplift or to open the flood gates. Music is a powerful medium that can create a sense of connection with others, it can help you express feelings, it can heal and it can also connect you with memories gone by. Everyone’s journey is unique and the right songs can amplify this journey.
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