Most of us attend cremations throughout our lives without ever quite knowing what happens – during the service, and especially afterwards. When you are arranging one for someone you love, those unknowns can become quietly distressing. Families ask us the same gentle questions again and again: what happens when the curtains close? Is the coffin cremated too? How do I know the ashes I receive are really theirs?
These are good questions, and they deserve honest answers. This guide explains exactly what happens at a cremation in the UK – before, during and after the service – so that nothing on the day is a mystery.
Before the Day: Paperwork and Careful Checks
A cremation can only take place once the legal paperwork is complete – the registrar's certificate for burial or cremation (the “green form”) or the coroner's equivalent, plus the crematorium's own application signed by the family. Your funeral director handles all of this with you.
From the moment your loved one comes into our care, identity is checked and recorded at every stage. The coffin carries a nameplate, and crematoria operate strict identification procedures from arrival through to the return of ashes. Anything you would like your loved one to wear or have with them stays with them; we will advise on items like jewellery, which you may prefer to keep, and anything battery-powered, such as a pacemaker, which must be removed beforehand for safety – we arrange this respectfully.
The Service: What Happens in the Chapel
A typical crematorium service in Kent lasts around 30 to 45 minutes, depending on the time booked. The cortege arrives a few minutes early; the coffin is carried or wheeled into the chapel and placed on the catafalque – the raised platform at the front – while music of your choosing plays.
The service itself is whatever you want it to be: religious, civil or somewhere in between; readings, eulogies, hymns, live music or a favourite song. At the end comes the committal – the formal moment of farewell. Curtains may close around the coffin, or the coffin may lower or simply remain in view as mourners leave;
this is your choice, and many families now choose to keep the curtains open.
One thing that surprises people: nothing happens to the coffin during the service. The cremation itself takes place later, out of sight, and never while mourners are present.
After the Mourners Leave
Once the chapel is empty, crematorium staff move the coffin to the crematory. The nameplate is checked against the paperwork, and an identity card accompanies your loved one through every remaining step.
The cremation almost always takes place the same day, and the industry code of practice requires it within a short, defined time of the service. Two things families most want reassurance on:
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The coffin is cremated with your loved one. Always. It is sealed before the service and is never opened, reused or resold
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Cremations happen one at a time. Each cremator holds a single coffin, and the chamber is carefully cleared before the next
The cremation itself takes around ninety minutes. Afterwards, the remains are cooled, any metal – such as joint replacements – is separated and, with the family's consent, recycled through a national scheme whose proceeds go to bereavement charities. The remains are then prepared into the fine ash that is returned to you, placed in an urn or container, still accompanied by that identity record.
The Ashes: When and How You Receive Them
Ashes are usually ready within a few working days. You can collect them from the crematorium or, more commonly, we receive them and you collect from us – or we hand-deliver them locally.
When the time comes, the choices are wide – scattering in the crematorium's garden of remembrance or a meaningful place, burial of ashes in a churchyard or family grave, keeping them at home, or dividing them between family members in smaller keepsakes. Our guide to
what to do with ashes after a cremation walks through the options, and our
urns and caskets page shows the range we offer.
Attended or Unattended: Two Kinds of Cremation
Everything above describes an attended cremation – a service with mourners. An unattended
direct cremation follows exactly the same careful process without a chapel service; families often hold a memorial later, with the ashes present, free of any timetable. There is also a middle path – our
attended pure cremation – a short, simple committal for a small group.
Whichever is right for you, the care behind the scenes is identical.
Common Questions
How do I know the ashes are really my loved one's? Because of the one-at-a-time rule and the identity card that travels with them from our care to the cremator to the urn. UK crematoria are regulated and inspected on exactly this.
Which crematorium will it be? Near Ashford, most of the families we care for use Charing Crematorium, with several others nearby – see our
local crematoria guide. The choice is always yours.
What does a cremation cost? It depends on the service you choose around it. Our
funeral cost calculator shows you transparent prices for every option in a few minutes.
Further Reading
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What happens at a funeral – the wider day, from cortege to wake
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What to do with ashes after cremation – scattering, burial, keepsakes and more
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Local crematoria – the crematoria serving Ashford and east Kent
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What to do when someone dies in Kent – a step-by-step guide to the first five days
If there is anything you are wondering about that this guide has not answered, please just ask – no question is too small or too difficult. Call Jo or Carl on 01233 421852, any time.
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